My Near Death Experience!


Today, I nearly died! Today, the one thing I have been dreading my whole entire life, actually happened and yes, it was literally as bad as I had imagined all these years. 
 

Today, I was casually minding my own business (well, checking out other people's business on Instagram, but still) sitting on the couch when all of a sudden I felt it. Something was ON ME! 

I have been having nightmares about this exact scenario my whole life. In my head, a giant spider falls down on me and I completely lose my shit and die a fast but painful death by heart attack brought on by pure, unadulterated fear. 
In reality, a very small spider appeared from absolutely nowhere to run right between my boobs and scare the bejesus out of me and I didn't die, I didn't even have a mild heart murmur or anything of the sort. I simply slapped myself silly like a true crazy person then sat there panting like one of the dogs after they've attacked each other for an hour. 


So umm yeah, there you go. 

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