Time To Say Goodbye

Hey Folks out there in internet land. This year is heading towards a close and it's got me thinking about what I had hoped to achieve this year and what I haven't gotten done.... In the last few years we've been thrown some pretty major shit and each year end I say "good riddance to this  year and here's to next year being better!" And the next year isn't better so it's getting kind of old.  Since 2012 (so five years), we've dealt with 3 miscarriages, an extremely difficult pregnancy that apparently should have resulted in two babies but didn't, a busted back, an ectopic pregnancy that nearly cost me my life and did cost my fertility. That was followed by pneumonia then a Femoral hernia. In addition to that, we've had to deal with me losing the ability to use my right leg and foot for over a year, more damage to my back, more hospital visits than I can count and stress beyond all belief. There has also been stress from teenage kid

My Near Death Experience!

Today, I nearly died! Today, the one thing I have been dreading my whole entire life, actually happened and yes, it was literally as bad as I had imagined all these years.    Today, I was casually minding my own business (well, checking out other people's business on Instagram, but still) sitting on the couch when all of a sudden I felt it. Something was ON ME!  I have been having nightmares about this exact scenario my whole life. In my head, a giant spider falls down on me and I completely lose my shit and die a fast but painful death by heart attack brought on by pure, unadulterated fear.  In reality, a very small spider appeared from absolutely nowhere to run right between my boobs and scare the bejesus out of me and I didn't die, I didn't even have a mild heart murmur or anything of the sort. I simply slapped myself silly like a true crazy person then sat there panting like one of the dogs after they've attacked each other for an hour.  So u

The Case Of The Leaking Toilet

Do you ever have one of those moments where you're just like 'fml, kill me now'? I mean, obviously not actually but seriously I am SO OVER LEAKS! Yes, we bought an old house and yes I love it, I really do. But honestly, the rain needs to go the fudge away and all of the leaking stuff , needs to STOP FREAKING LEAKING!!! So when we moved in and it started raining the ridiculous monsoonal-neverending-noahsarktype rain we discovered that Emily's room leaks. And so we tried to fix it. But we couldn't because it wouldn't stop raining and the fix requires us to take multiple roof tiles off and fix the stuff underneath. And we can't do that if it won't stop raining. And it seriously won't freaking stop for long enough to get that done. So we're left with stinky carpet that needs replacing, a leaking roof/wall that won't stop and eternal frustration. But that's not all. The bathroom taps were/are on the list to be replaced and would

Curve Balls and Roller Coasters!

I guess the thing about having kids is that you never really get to settle into 'normal', right?  Like, when you're pregnant you have all these grand delusions about how relaxed and fun life is going to be and then you have the baby and you're all sleep deprived and crazy. But you think it's okay because it's temporary and soon enough life settles into a routine and here comes that relaxed fun 'movie' family that you were picturing.  And then babies become toddlers and the balance shifts, and toddlers become pre-schoolers just when you think you've got them figured out. So you get through that and you get through the early school years which are kind of intense and all of a sudden you've got high school kids on your hands and you think 'I've got this now, I'm a PRO!'.  Except you're never a pro because the life rollercoaster never stays in neutral.  Emily is in hospital this week and talk about curve balls! The c

Days 80 - 83

Feeling a little down in the dumps today. Had an appointment yesterday to discuss whether surgery would be an option for my back. Turns out the answer to that is pretty much no. Waiting on a second opinion from the Neurosurgeon after he reviews my scans, but the general consensus is that the problem with my back lies within the discs themselves not through nerve damage. And because they don't think the nerves are being squished, the only way to 'fix' things would be spinal fusion surgery. And that is apparently just as likely to make an even bigger mess of my back so it's a no-go. It's just kind of depressing because I've essentially just got to live with it. The suggestions are to ease back into everything that hurts, like sitting, walking, standing, doing everything, over a gradual course of months. She said even something like sitting - the recommendation is to do it for no more than 10 minutes a few times a day. After that ten minutes doesn't hurt a

Day 79

August 19th 2017 So, seriously, it's the middle of August. It's actually insane how quickly this year has flown by. Remember when you were a little kid and time seemed to go by so slowly. I've always felt it is kind of unfair that the older you get the faster everything slips past. Sometimes I just want to freeze time and be able to savour it for that little bit longer. The Social One got back from her trip to England today and it was really nice to see her after three weeks away. I already miss the days when all of my babies were home with me. It's just a few short years ago but it also kind of feels so long. Just some ponderings, no real reason. 💓✌

Day 77

August 17th 2017 I know I've missed a fair few days, but in all honesty I just didn't know what to write. The events in the news lately have just made me SO SAD. I want to rant about The Don - the man who is condoning bigotry, rascism and hate and is currently the 'leader' of the USA. I want to scream and yell and cry, and say how could people be so awful. But people have always been awful, it's just that I thought we as a global humanity were headed in the direction of good. But we aren't. And I don't know how to cope with that. What it boils down to is this. LOVE IS LOVE AND HATE IS HATE. My children know that people are people. How much melanin a person has in their skin is absolutely irrelevant, as is the religion or beliefs they hold in their personal life, as is whether they associate as a guy, girl, both or nothing, as is who they marry. I hope my children are in the majority, I hope that many, many parents are raising their children as we are