Yet another month has passed now and we are well into 2015. I've been doing a fair bit of thinking over the last few months, mostly because I was so sick and 1) had convinced myself that I was in fact dying of some horrible unknown disease, and 2) I have been not stressing as such, but thinking a lot about Sam turning 18 this year and my approaching 'milestone' birthday, and my Grandparents and parents......
Happy to say I am obviously not dying of some horrible disease and in fact actually feel about a zillion times better now that the problem has been found and resolved. So aside from feeling a little silly for being so dramatic, in true 'Sarah' fashion I have had somewhat of an epiphany. Or maybe it's not really an epiphany seeing as it should be so obvious but anyway.
Before I get to my life changing epiphany however, here are some photos of our afternoon at the beach last weekend. We finally all spent an afternoon in the same place all together and had the best day. The weather was amazing; not hot, not cold, not windy, not cloudy - PERFECT. We saw dolphins frolicking pretty close to shore and I took a million photos. Well, a couple of hundred at least.
Now on to my 'epiphany'. And people say it all the time, but not too many people actually hear it, listen to it, and live it. I think fear gets to us.
YOU ONLY GET ONE LIFE.
You have to live for yourself/your immediate family. You have to do what works for you. You can't spend all your life waiting for stuff. Yes, yes, John Lennon said it best "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." But it's so true. I don't want to get to 70 and think, "gee, I wish I'd done that/tried that/gone there/seen that/experienced that."
Someone said to me once that they'd made the decision to not have any more kids because they wanted to be able to give the ones they did have the best of everything. But she would've liked to have another one. And I kind of think that's a bit sad. If she was happy with her decision, then awesome, but she really wasn't. There was regret and a wish that things could be different. Material possessions do not equate to the best of everything. To me, the best of everything is love and happiness. You should have as many kids as makes you happy, whether that's zero or twenty. (No...relax, we do not have twenty kids in our future). If that means that they wear hand-me-downs and help with chores and share bedrooms and living spaces and talk to each other instead of having all the latest 'stuff', how is that a bad thing?
In the same vein, if you want to quit your job and do what Christopher McCandless did (read Into The Wild, or watch the movie if you don't know), then do it. You don't need to be arrogant about it like he kind of was, but if picking up odd jobs here and there to fund your nomadic lifestyle makes you happy, then damn well do it. It might change in a year, or five, or ten but for now do it.
I guess my epiphany really just comes down to a realisation that time doesn't stop. That while you're busy planning and deciding what you'll be doing tomorrow, today is happening. And you're kind of wasting it if you aren't happy in today. Stuff society to a certain extent at least, and be you. Live to a few simple rules: don't hurt yourself or anyone else, no matter who they are, make sure you can feed and clothe yourself and those who depend on you, and don't do what you think others want you to do. Do what you want to do. If you want to be the crazy old cat lady who scares the kids in the street and laughs about it, do it. So long as you aren't actually hurting said kids or said cats, why can't you be that person? Just because society says it's weird or not acceptable? If it makes you happy, it isn't bad.
Oh, and I'm not saying don't be a part of society at all. If living the 9-5 working life excites you and makes you happy, then do that. My point is that regardless of whether it's considered 'normal' or 'acceptable' you should do what makes you happy with life. It's there to be lived.
So there you go. That's my life changing realisation. I've been saying it forever, but I guess it took forever for me to really accept it and be perfectly, 100% okay with the knowledge that we are allowed to do what makes us happy. Or maybe I've just always had a secret desire to be the 'crazy old woman who lived in a shoe....' Hahaha, you never know and that's probably a good thing. I will leave you with this for today:
I love that I can honestly, 100% say I love my life. I am happy. We have plans for the future that we are so excited about, but that doesn't negate the excitement I have for today, or tomorrow, or next week.
Have an awesome day!